To refresh your memory, I received a text message from a number I didn’t recognize, so I decided to have some fun. It started out as follows:
Mystery Texter: Hey what size grey goose do u want?
me: The largest one available, of course.
MT: Lol will do
me: When will it arrive?
I didn’t hear anything for a while. Then about an hour later, it started up again:
MT: The grey goose?
me: Yes, the grey goose. I’m getting thirsty thinking about it.
MT: Lol i don’t get off till about 530. And ill make run to the liquor store around 6 so it will be ready for u to take home when u come over.
me: Was I supposed to come over tonight?
MT: I thought u were just to hang out? Maybe smoke the hooka a lil?
me (trying to get an idea of who it might be): That’s right. Refresh my memory, how do I get there?
MT: Give us a call when ur on ur way and well give u directions
MT: Its awesome to find someone who we dont freak out
me (maybe I can freak them out a bit): Should I bring my leather?
MT: Please do
me (damn, didn’t work, maybe this will): My sister would like to come, too. Is that ok?
MT: Thats cool. R yall drinking and having fun?
me: Not yet. Looking forward to tonight.
MT: Why r u looking forward too it?
me (shit, am I busted?): Because it sounds fun.
MT: It will be. Wanna play whos the vigges pervert,
me (Cool, I’m not. Let’s see where this’ll take us): Sure. You in first.
MT: Me in first,
MT: Ok but if u get us naked i swear lol
me: I thought that was the goal. . .
MT: Lol. Well i know it wont be hard for you to get jess naked lol
WTF? I know someone named Jess. Could this be someone that actually knows me and is texting me by mistake?
MT: Just get ready to have fun tonight
MT: Dont wear to much lol
Another long break with no messages. I was thinking about who it could be, and even called my wife to see what she thought. I did a reverse white pages lookup on the number, but all it told me was that it was a cell phone using the same cell provider that I use. No help there.
me: Where do you work that you can spend all this time texting me?
MT: Pharmacy. And its slow
I thought I’d try to let them down easy, and try to get out of “coming over” like they thought I was:
me: It looks like I won’t be able to get away from work until after 7 pm. Is that too late to come over?
MT: Of course not well be up late tonight
Crap. Didn’t work.
MT: Ur grey goose was 25
MT: What time do u think yal will be here?
By the time I received the above message, I was already home. I didn’t bother responding. Later, I received this:
MT: Probably. We can order it when we’re done.
I have no idea what “it” is. Or what it is that they are doing that they’ll be waiting until after they’re done to order.
I hope they had a nice night, whoever they were.