Apologies for taking so long to wrap up this story. To refresh your memory, I participated in a bizarre text message conversation a while back. The gist of it is that the texter thought I was someone else, bought a large bottle of Grey Goose for me, and expected me to come over that night to drink & hang out. We’d gone back & forth with plans for the evening, each reply getting more and more bizarre. Of course, I didn’t show.
Here’s the conversation from the next day:
Mystery Texter: Hope u did well on the test today
Test? Apparently, the Mystery Texter thinks I’m a student.
me: Aced it. Had a great time last night. Sure was a wild one, wasn’t it?
MT: Sadly all we did was go to bed. Looking forward to tonight.
MT: Still coming over tonight?
me: Wait a minute. If I wasn’t at your place last night, where was I?
MT: Good question. Ur coming over tonight to get naked. Why hd a wild night last night?
me: Thought it was with you. Maybe we’re confused. I came over, drank a bunch of grey goose, and the rest is a haze. You’re telling me I didn’t come over?
MT: Sadly yes. We still have ur bottle here. U never came over. Did u dream it? lol
me: No, I’m hung over. I’m sure it happened.
MT: Didnt come to our place. R u tonight? R u at work?
MT: So r u coming over tonight to have fun?
me: Going to a concert tonight, so I can’t come over.
I really was going to a concert that night. One of the few true things I texted.
MT: That sucks. Would u like me to drop off the grey goose at ur place?
MT: R u at ur place?
I wasn’t home, I was at work.
MT: Be there in a bit.
me: See ya soon.
MT: Whats ur apt number?
Just a number I made up.
MT: Sorry im lost
Of course s/he was.
MT: Where do u work again?
Not gonna tell ya that, I don’t want any retaliation. Maybe I can turn this around and put it on them.
me: Are you sure you’re texting the right person, and not simply fucking with me?
MT: Who is this? Cause i got the wrong person I think.
MT: Is this Lauren?
MT: My Bad. I’m a idiot. Sorry to bother u and have a good one
Damn, I was having fun. Maybe I can get them to play some more.
me: Well, if I didn’t get drunk with you last night, who was I with?
MT: Good Question. I dont even know u