I was at my Dad’s house, but it wasn’t my Dad’s house (you know how it is in dreams). It was a Monday night, and I’d passed up going on the ride with the Old Scratch Posse group (which I did last night, passed up on the ride, that is). Instead, I was hanging with Cynthia, my Dad, my ex-GF’s mom (WTF?), and someone else. Then my brother, Tim, showed up for some reason. He convinced me to go on a bike ride. Before we left, he was adjusting the drivetrain on his Rig, because something wasn’t right. The chain kept binding up, then going really slack. I noticed that the rubber O-ring that was holding the bearings in on the Bottom Bracket had popped off, allowing the bearing retainer to come loose, which allowed the spindle to move around, thus causing the chain issue. He put everything back in place, but it still didn’t work 100% correct. He still wanted to ride, so we figured he’d just deal with it when it caused an issue.

We were both on Single Speed MTBs: him on his Gary Fisher Rig, me on the bike I’ve dubbed El Chupacabra. Eventually we met up with Levi Leipheimer and Bob Roll. (I’m not entirely sure if we met up with them during the ride or before it, because they were on bikes they’d borrowed from us. This is important later.) Levi & Bob were feuding, because Bob had recently caused Levi to injure himself. For some reason, Bob was still terrorizing Levi, as if he was trying to make him crash.

At one point, we were off the bikes & jumping/climbing a concrete wall, as if we were participating in Parkour (no, I wasn’t high or drunk when I went to bed last night). During this, Levi fell & hurt his knee, which is how I found out about the feud with Bob. I told him I’d help fend off Bob for the rest of the ride.

We left the concrete area & headed to Cafe Brazil for food & drinks. We were going to meed up with the OSP group there. Along the way, Bob kept trying to mess with Levi, so I was attempting to block him, and hopefully cause him to crash, instead. We both kept rolling over, but kept riding, battling away at each other. I ended up on Bob’s right side, and was having trouble causing him to crash without me crashing, too. I then noticed that he was on Tim’s 1988 Mongoose MTB. So I reached over and squeezed the brake lever on the right handlebar. Bob saw me reaching, & got a smug look on his face as he stood up to power through the application of the rear brake. Except it wasn’t the rear brake, it was the front, as Tim runs his breaks opposite from most people. Bob ended up flipping over the handlebars & crashing.

Levi & I raced away, trying to catch Tim. Bob got up & chased us. He came up on my right side, and reached over to do the same thing to me, expecting my brakes to be set up like Tim’s. Except they aren’t, and he only slowed me down.

We arrived at Cafe Brazil where Kyle was starting to lock up everyone’s bikes.

And then my alarm went off, waking me up.

Way to go, bing!

Kathleen tagged me, so what the hell:

The Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

#1:

I can’t whistle. Well, I can, but it’s weak and only dogs can hear it. I’ve tried to learn how, and just can’t do it.  Every now and then I’ll get a good, solid tone, but it doesn’t last, and I can’t vary the pitch. It’s sad, really.

#2:

I was my high school’s first National Merit Scholar. And I didn’t even try. I wasn’t valedictorian, didn’t make straight-A’s, and only took the SAT once. I just test really well. From what I understand, the second National Merit Scholar from my HS was the very next year.

#3:

Even though I got a full scholarship to college, I never graduated.  In fact, I dropped out after one year. I’ve since gone back to various colleges/universities and picked up classes here and there, enough to be classified as a Junior, but not enough for a degree.  I still have no idea what I want to do when I grow up.

#4:

I was the best trombone player in my HS graduating class, but I can’t/don’t read music.  I’ve even performed on stage at the Meyerson Symphony Center, twice. Oh, and I can’t do jazz improv, either. But put a piece of music in front of me and I can play it.  I learned to play by position, so when I see the note on a page, I see numbers.  It works for me.

#5:

In another 15 months I’ll have lived half my life in the Dallas/Ft Worth area.  I’m including the summer my brothers and I lived here with our mother back in the 70s. The other half of my life has been spent mostly in various towns/cities in Wisconsin, but also in Georgia, South Carolina, Florida, & California.  Of all the places I’ve lived, I prefer Dallas.

#6:

I love cats & don’t really care for dogs.  Dogs smell, and are very needy.  Cats take care of themselves, but can still tell when they’re needed.  There, that makes 6. Can you tell I’m struggling here?

On whom shall I inflict this?

• YummY!
• WebKittyn
• Jenn
• Mandy
• Amberance
• Tim

Here’s the conversation from the next day:

Mystery Texter: Hope u did well on the test today

Test? Apparently, the Mystery Texter thinks I’m a student.

me: Aced it. Had a great time last night. Sure was a wild one, wasn’t it?

MT: Sadly all we did was go to bed. Looking forward to tonight.

MT: Still coming over tonight?

me: Wait a minute. If I wasn’t at your place last night, where was I?

MT: Good question. Ur coming over tonight to get naked. Why hd a wild night last night?

me: Thought it was with you. Maybe we’re confused. I came over, drank a bunch of grey goose, and the rest is a haze. You’re telling me I didn’t come over?

MT: Sadly yes. We still have ur bottle here. U never came over. Did u dream it? lol

me: No, I’m hung over. I’m sure it happened.

MT: Didnt come to our place. R u tonight? R u at work?

MT: So r u coming over tonight to have fun?

me: Going to a concert tonight, so I can’t come over.

I really was going to a concert that night. One of the few true things I texted.

MT: That sucks. Would u like me to drop off the grey goose at ur place?

me: Sure.

MT: R u at ur place?

me: Yes.

I wasn’t home, I was at work.

MT: Be there in a bit.

me: See ya soon.

MT: Whats ur apt number?

me: 729

Just a number I made up.

MT: Sorry im lost

Of course s/he was.

MT: Where do u work again?

Not gonna tell ya that, I don’t want any retaliation. Maybe I can turn this around and put it on them.

me: Are you sure you’re texting the right person, and not simply fucking with me?

MT: Who is this? Cause i got the wrong person I think.

MT: Is this Lauren?

me: No.

MT: My Bad. I’m a idiot. Sorry to bother u and have a good one

Damn, I was having fun. Maybe I can get them to play some more.

me: Well, if I didn’t get drunk with you last night, who was I with?

MT: Good Question. I dont even know u

Apparently not.

Mystery Texter: Hey what size grey goose do u want?

me: The largest one available, of course.

MT: Lol will do

me: When will it arrive?

I didn’t hear anything for a while.  Then about an hour later, it started up again:

MT: The grey goose?

me: Yes, the grey goose. I’m getting thirsty thinking about it.

MT: Lol i don’t get off till about 530. And ill make run to the liquor store around 6 so it will be ready for u to take home when u come over.

me: Was I supposed to come over tonight?

MT: I thought u were just to hang out? Maybe smoke the hooka a lil?

me (trying to get an idea of who it might be): That’s right. Refresh my memory, how do I get there?

MT: Give us a call when ur on ur way and well give u directions

MT: Its awesome to find someone who we dont freak out

me (maybe I can freak them out a bit): Should I bring my leather?

MT: Please do

me (damn, didn’t work, maybe this will): My sister would like to come, too. Is that ok?

MT: Thats cool. R yall drinking and having fun?

me: Not yet. Looking forward to tonight.

MT: Why r u looking forward too it?

me (shit, am I busted?): Because it sounds fun.

MT: It will be. Wanna play whos the vigges pervert,

me (Cool, I’m not.  Let’s see where this’ll take us): Sure. You in first.

MT: Me in first,

MT: ?

me: Yes.

MT: Ok but if u get us naked i swear lol

me: I thought that was the goal. . .

MT: Lol. Well i know it wont be hard for you to get jess naked lol

WTF?  I know someone named Jess.  Could this be someone that actually knows me and is texting me by mistake?

MT: Just get ready to have fun tonight

MT: Dont wear to much lol

Another long break with no messages.  I was thinking about who it could be, and even called my wife to see what she thought.  I did a reverse white pages lookup on the number, but all it told me was that it was a cell phone using the same cell provider that I use.  No help there.

me: Where do you work that you can spend all this time texting me?

MT: Pharmacy. And its slow

I thought I’d try to let them down easy, and try to get out of “coming over” like they thought I was:

me: It looks like I won’t be able to get away from work until after 7 pm. Is that too late to come over?

MT: Of course not well be up late tonight

Crap.  Didn’t work.

MT: Ur grey goose was 25

MT: What time do u think yal will be here?

By the time I received the above message, I was already home.  I didn’t bother responding.  Later, I received this:

MT: Probably. We can order it when we’re done.

I have no idea what “it” is.  Or what it is that they are doing that they’ll be waiting until after they’re done to order.

I hope they had a nice night, whoever they were.

Hey what size grey goose do u want?

It was from a number that I didn’t recognize.  So I thought, what the hell, why not respond?

The largest size available, of course.

To which the unknown person replied:

Lol will do

Since I was having fun with it, I decided to keep going:

When will it arrive?

I haven’t heard back yet.

I’m tempted to call the number and find out who it is.