Holy crap! That's faster than my cable modem at home! http://t.co/wr7fUoGZ # Sitting on the couch w/ Cynthia & the cat, drinking a Leinenkugels Summer Shandy & reading on my nook. # Cynthia & I can hear our neighbor snoring. # @ov3n @chiangku Maybe he saw the shooter, but not the victim. Or vice-versa. Or […]

Spent the afternoon working on a priest's bicycle. He paid me w/ beer. Good times. # Earthquake in North Texas, who'da thunk it? # @lazydaysies @TxStormChasers That's 3 miles from me, no wonder I felt it. in reply to lazydaysies # Was just talking to a priest today who said he'd rather deal with tornadoes […]

Recovering from food poisoning & would like to describe my bowel movements, but I won't. No one wants to read about that shit. #punintended #

I've seen 2 Juggalos in the span of 15 minutes downtown. Also, Juggalo autocompletes on the iPhone. # Pancakes! (@ The Original Pancake House) http://t.co/zm1g6iEg # Arianna says it's bed time. http://t.co/9nexr7ia #

@zeuscomics Don't do it. Get out now while you still can. in reply to zeuscomics # @michaelagburton Exactly. The President doesn't control gas prices. in reply to michaelagburton # Dinnar! (@ The Black-eyed Pea) http://t.co/vDNTxWw6 # @lazydaysies @dbferguson @irving_news It's 2 blocks from home. We'll probably be there. in reply to lazydaysies #

Getting the tires rotated at the happiest Discount Tire in the Metroplex. (@ Discount Tire) http://t.co/5NB7PgF5 # @mrsF5 I'm lactose intolerant, and I love ice cream. in reply to mrsF5 # @mrsF5 Yes, I like it quiet. So yes, I support her campaign. Unless the boys have something awesome. in reply to mrsF5 # @mrsF5 […]

Nice & refreshing. Did a good job of killing the spicy burning in my mouth. — Drinking a Summer Shandy @ homeb8s — http://t.co/wEecCi8x # The line of scrimmage in the #Cowboys game looks like it's sponsored by Living Social. Please tell me I'm wrong. #

@WordsWFriends Yes, they are excellent words, but poorly played. in reply to WordsWFriends # I scored 343 points in Slate's news quiz & beat Farhad Manjoo's 297 points! Can you beat me? http://t.co/gsyd2pCv # Like no place else, bitches! (@ Chili's Grill & Bar) http://t.co/JHzfkkO1 #

NBC needs to rethink where they place the stat bar on the #Olympic2012 divers. #nbcfail http://t.co/yOY3lxzF #

Eating lunch while the Veloster has its 7500 mile checkup. (@ Babe's Chicken Dinner House) http://t.co/7NHOFibZ # I just reached Level 2 of the "Fried Check-in" badge on @foursquare. I’ve checked in at 5 different fried chicken spot http://t.co/OmS8fzfy #