Checkup, bitches! (@ Doctor Office) http://t.co/NYgKfiCA # Wiches, bitches! (@ Which Wich Superior Sandwiches w/ 4 others) http://t.co/fMOykB08 # King of the hill. http://t.co/44mWMunf # Ok this is cool. iOS 5 let's you split the keyboard on the 'Pad, the better to type w/ one's thumbs. # I'm really liking the new notification system, too. [...]

@jfritsche Congrats on the house. If you need moving boxes, let me know. in reply to jfritsche # Pizza & beer, bitches! (@ Bryan Street Tavern) http://t.co/Zx807IIR # There are 4 small children playing hide 'n' seek on the patio of the bar I'm at. #parentoftheyear # If I'd wanted to be around children, I'd [...]

OSP, bitches! (@ Bryan Street Tavern) http://t.co/n6Y2GNod # OH: I'm like, semiocre at any sport. # OH: Yeah, I'm playing footsie, fucker! # Just cancelled the DVD portion of our @netflix plan & sticking with streaming-only. #8bucksis8bucks # I am watching Terra Nova, Genesis Part 1 (S01E01). http://t.co/uh2Ey9AI # I am watching Terra Nova, Genesis [...]

Arrrrr! I'm at work on Talk Like A Pirate Day, bitches! (@ NMCC) http://t.co/iOm5YOaE # Liars, it is too a word. http://t.co/gMHXWzfA # I'm #reading When Blood Calls by J.K. Beck http://t.co/0BvgcB5f # Why is #USPS failing? Their carriers are lazy. Ours is refusing to deliver to us because he doesn't want to go to [...]

Queso, bitches! (@ BEE: Best Enchiladas Ever) http://t.co/fNAcI7M # Walking home, bitches! (@ PARK(ing) Day Dallas w/ @coreyrawdon) http://t.co/FVqskxdW # Twice in one week, bitches! It's that good. (@ BEE: Best Enchiladas Ever) http://t.co/dgJ2ydyZ # Malts for dessert, bitches! (@ Hunky's) http://t.co/p7TBAren # I just became the mayor of PARK(ing) Day Dallas on @foursquare! http://t.co/jpgAOrdm [...]

We're watching Ed Gein: The Musical. Yes, you read that right. It's so bad it's gone from bad to good & back to bad again. # Roadkill, bitches! (@ Texas Roadhouse – McKinney) http://t.co/Sr1oe78 # Late lunch to go, bitches! (@ Which Wich Superior Sandwiches) http://t.co/DhUCixJ # Animal style fries, bitches! (@ In-N-Out Burger w/ [...]

I just got a $5 credit for instant movies and TV shows @amazonvideo. Click http://t.co/HiMsHYa to get yours. #get5 # Today is my 7-year anniversary at work. # "I want you to match a color in my file w/ a specific PMS color, even though the color in my file is not that color." # [...]

Animal Style, bitches! (@ In-N-Out Burger w/ 5 others) http://t.co/HrSv1wB # I scored 4736 points & answered all questions correct playing #KirkusReviews #QRANK. # Chorizo, bitches! (@ Taco Borracho) http://t.co/rg7NOa6 # Chicken-fried goodness, bitches! (@ Babe's Chicken Dinner House w/ 5 others) http://t.co/pjswXg7 # Any of my Tweeps have a Spotify invite to share? # [...]

@woofytexan Pancakes and the Revolution #replacebandnameswithpancakes in reply to woofytexan # I scored 8872 points playing #QRANK Bet you can't top that! http://t.co/irwZeEE # Such a happy song. – Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People, from #SoundHound http://t.co/Z5asF7m # OSP, bitches! (@ Bryan Street Tavern) http://t.co/DTBz5hm # Stop 2, bitches! (@ Anvil Pub) http://t.co/NWLft7l [...]

Pretty good. — Drinking a Shiner 102 Double Wheat @ b8sloft – Loftgasm! 2.0 — http://untp.it/pisOAz # Lady Gaga & Captain Kirk. http://instagr.am/p/JqQlr/ # Fries well done, bitches! (@ In-N-Out Burger w/ 3 others) http://4sq.com/pNZcQB # Groceries, bitches! (@ Kroger w/ 2 others) http://4sq.com/nhWpbI # Gee, thanks. http://t.co/BDMPNjS # Sure glad they have this right [...]